#10 still friends

#10 was the first fella I was thinking about dating. He first contacting me having recognized the amplifier in my pictures of my records.  Since it’s a source of pride and interest to me, I was stoked he recognized it. He knew some of my out-of-town scooter friends so, you know, birds of a feather sorta thing. Figured he had to be good people to know good people. He lives in Carlsbad where I work. He was handsome to boot. So we made lunch plans.

I put on a dress and borrowed a co-worker’s car so I wouldn’t just be eating at the food court across the street. He was very tall, very shy and didn’t have much to say but lunch was nice and we said we’d do it again.

He was a good texter, at least, texted a bunch.  But his conversations were limited largely to Mazdas and car photography.  He was not employed, was living at home and trying to start a career in photography. I understood it was lucky to have that ability to pursue such a dream and have a roof over your head regardless of the roof. And man, he was cute.

We had a few lunches. Eventually he drove me home from work one Friday and we did a bar crawl and had dinner. It was fun but fleeting.

It didn’t take too long for the limited conversation and lack of steady income to put the kibosh on dating.  Living 40miles a part and me relying on the train to get home didn’t help either.  We decided we could totally be friends and that’s what we are to this day.

#9 hardly notable

#9 was a very nice gentleman. Only a few years older but seemed WAY older. He was all about my OKC profile as was SURE we'd get along great.  To me he looked a lot like my stepdad, Don, so I knew there was no getting over that impression and thus no romance in the mix. He worked as an engineer for the first company I worked at in San Diego: ViaSat. What I found interesting is that when I worked there, loads of young engineers would make up excuses to walk my desk not anywhere near anything nor on the way to anything. I was pretty clear word got around that mostly-men office that a cute new girl was working. I thought it was pretty cute all these young guys walking by to find there was only a dead end and thus had to turn right back around. Only few could make eye contact or say "hey". I went out a couple of time with one of them but he was 36 and super serious about getting married so yeah, that wasn't gonna work. I digress.

So here is this engineer who looks like my stepdad that really wants to meet me so I agree to lunch across the street from my office.

In person, he looks even more like my stepdad. While only a few years older he totally seems like a decade older. He was certainly totally pleasant but zero connection or attraction on my end.

Pretty much as soon as I got back to my desk I had a "confession" email. He was having lots of luck on OkC with single moms and was dating a few others but really liked me and would love to add me to the mix. I saw that as an open door so I walked through it: "ahh, I didn't think that we had enough in common to really even be friends. Best of luck".  He was pretty shocked by that. Thought I didn't give him enough of a chance. I said I too was having success and just didn't see any point in having any more dates. He wished me well and that was pretty much as painless as it gets. Lessons learned: just don't even entertain a dude if he looks like your stepdad or anyone else puts said dude squarely in the "no chance at romance" zone.

#8 Eight, Eight, I forget what Eight is for….

So as you might imagine, I was pretty sure #8 couldn’t be as weird and uncomfy at #7 but I was only going to have to go to sleep and wake up to find out.

I feel it’s important to state again the POF doesn’t really provide any info on HOW they deem you a match. I suspect part of the equation is “she wrote back, that almost NEVER happens – it’s a match”.  It wasn’t until I had some hindsight I realized POF kept sending me self-identified “ free thinkers” as personality types. So far, 100% of the time in my experience, “free thinker” has meant conservative libertarian or Tea Partier.  In addition, these “free thinkers” are more times than not Aries. I’m a pisces so yeah, I believe in this shit more than others but I know from experience – me and aries can only take each other in really small doses if at all.  I’m a pisces with fire all over my chart with a heavy leaning towards Sagittarius and Leo. ROAR! So I get along with Fire pretty good for a water sign. And I’m a mutalable water sign so I get along with MOST people but yeah, Aries are tough for me. Too black and white and so seldom leading with the heart.  So really POF doesn’t know me AT ALL to keep sending Aries my way.

#8 was one of those free-thinking Aries.  He emailed or texted every morning leading up to our Saturday meeting at 6:30am when he knew I’d be on the train platform. I like that he was thinking about me every morning. I don’t remember what we said but he was always inquisitive about my day and again, I thought that was nice.  He didn’t really have any good, clear photos so in my mind he was either a hipster or truly blue collar and totally rocking a mustache unironically but not terribly fashionably either… from what I could see.  His handle (username) suggested he was a photographer and lived in Pt. Loma.  When it came time to setting up public meeting spot he suggested Point Loma.  I picked the one place I knew how to get to in Pt. Loma – the Living Room – a coffee shop. 

He was on time. Cuter in person than I imagined. Not real tall but sinewy and that’s alright by me. We got our drinks and he was already on the defensive that I didn’t drink coffee but instead tea. He seem to find that to be an affront or otherwise sign of untrustworthiness.  Any maybe this unease about lack of desire to imbibe coffee was why he launched straight into his political beliefs.  The first of which is no taxes for innovators (corporations). Yep, this was gonna be a long date even if it lasted 10 mins…. I honestly don’t know how long it went on for. It was one of those situations where the uncomfortable smile of disbelief was mistook as approval and he just kept going. He is a union plumber that supports the Tea Party!!!! He went on and on and got more and more animated (hitting the table, spitting when he talked) as he did. Every once in awhile, without me expressing ANYTHING, he’d state I was “progressive”. And I don’t recall the exact idea I giggled at but my giggle stopped him cold so I said “it sounds like you’re an Ayn Randian Tea Partier”.  Oh, he didn’t like being giggled at. He stated he’s a libertarian yes, believes the Atlas Shrugged philosophy. I asked him what he thought that philosophy was and how he fit into in his line of work. Where would he be when they all retreated behind the cover of an ingenious cloaking shield in the mountains of Colorado? He had no idea what I was talking about. So then I more seriously asked “Have you read Atlas Shrugged?”  “no but..” he answered though I stopped him there because there was NOTHING behind that “but” that would excuse someone claiming to believe in a philosophy they’ve never read. With that he no longer believed me progressive so I got my life back. He got in his Ford Festiva and drove off never to contact me again.

Whew. 2 days of really crappy dates. When will it get better? 9 will be a snooze.  10 is a friend. 11 is the sleepmask maker…. Stay tuned.